“I want more”. That’s how I feel every time I eat a side order of fries. You know, those fries that come with the main dish, placed in one tiny corner of the plate. There are literally just ten pieces of fries on the plate, so before I know it, my side order of fries are gone. And I’m left feeling frustrated, wishing there were more.

Reminds me of the last time I felt this way. It wasn’t caused by a side of fries though. I had just gotten out of a longterm relationship and decided I wasn’t ready for another commitment. And so I got myself into what we call a ‘casual’ relationship.

It seemed like the perfect arrangement. No commitment. No drama. No expectations. No stress. Like I said, it seemed perfect. Only it wasn’t. In fact, it was far from that.

Being in a casual relationship is like having someone there, who’s not really there. Whenever I start to want more, he’s gone. As quickly as my side order of fries. And I can’t really demand for more fries now, can I? I had the option of ordering a full plate of fries. But I chose not to. I didn’t want to commit to a full plate of fries so I settled for a side order of fries. But where did that get me? Unsatisfied and envious of other people with their full plates of fries.

Why not just order a new plate of fries, you might ask. Well, the tricky thing with having a side of fries is that they leave you feeling ‘almost’ full. Which means I’m still craving for more fries, but I know I won’t be able to fit another plate into my stomach. So although I was in a casual relationship, it occupied a lot of my time. I didn’t even go on dates. What’s the point? Even if my casual relationship left me wanting more, there was no space in my life for ‘more’.

So, what to do if you find yourself in a similar situation? Well, first you need to figure out if you’re the kind of girl who can make do with a side order of fries, or if you’re a plate-full-of-fries kind of girl.

If your answer is the latter, then do yourself a favor and cancel that side order of fries. Get a whole plate for yourself, you deserve it.

If you’re the former and don’t mind having fries on the side, then that’s fine too. But here’s what you need to understand: it is only a side order. That means on that plate, the highlight is actually the main dish. Side orders are, as the name suggests, meant to be taken on the side. So make room for the more important things in your life – the main dish. You will stop feeling unsatisfied once you stop making your side order of fries a priority.

As for me, I’m not really sure yet which kind of girl I am. Maybe I am secretly hoping that my side order of fries will magically upgrade itself into a full plate. But one thing I do know for sure is this: fries are meant to be enjoyed – whether you’re having a side order or a full plate. You’re supposed to feel good and satisfied after having fries. If you’re not enjoying your order of fries, that’s your signal to do something about it. There are plenty of fries out there, why force yourself to eat fries that don’t satisfy you?

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