Of Fries and Emptiness

I’ve been eating a lot of fries lately. You could say it’s because I’m a pig (and yes that’s probably true), but there’s actually a deeper reason behind it. I’ve been feeling a little down these past few days, and I had this awesome idea that stuffing fries in my mouth would make everything better. That it would make me feel less alone. Less sad. Less stressed. Sounds absurd when I put it that way, but I know I’m not the first person that’s turned to food for some comfort. I’m sure there are times when we find ourselves eating a lot more for no good reason, hoping that food would fill up an emptiness that we have inside.

Does it ever work?

Momentarily, I would say. For those few minutes that I’m eating fries, I do feel a little happier. But that’s how long it lasts – a few minutes. Then I’m back to feeling like crap. Even worse, now I also feel fat.

We do the same with men too, if you think about it. We let a man into our lives, in hopes that he’ll make the emptiness go away. That he’ll make us happy and that we won’t have to feel alone anymore. And it works for a little while, until the sadness and loneliness strikes again all of a sudden. So we get rid of this man, because apparently he’s not doing a good job of making us happy. And we go through series of men, in an attempt to fill our empty cup. What we find, however, is not only is our cup still empty, but there’s a deeper hole inside us each time.

Waiting for a man to come rescue us and make our sadness magically disappear is like waiting for an order of fries to solve all our problems. It’s never going to happen.

Because the reality is, no man can ever fill up your empty cup. The only person who can, is YOU.

You, and you alone, are responsible for your own happiness. If you are not happy with yourself, no one, and I mean no one, can ever make you happy. No amount of fries or men will ever make you feel whole. This is something you have to take into your own hands.

So here’s your homework starting from now : Find out what happiness is for you. Go out there and do things. Take a course. Meet new people. Travel. Read. Write. Draw. Paint. Cook. Dance. Sing. Run. Whatever it is. Don’t stop until you find that thing that makes you happy.

And when you’re happy with yourself, that’s when you’ll be able to find a man who makes you even happier.

#Fry-tip : Ever wonder why fries make such good comfort food? http://healthland.time.com/2011/04/07/why-french-fries-are-good-comfort-food/


23 thoughts on “Of Fries and Emptiness

  1. Yes both of the two will always have some sort of appeal, if not simply for all of the adulation that are bestowed upon them by society. I feel like a lot of the process of breaking the cycle begins in just going through it often enough until you finally realize that they can’t give you anything you don’t already have. And then once you realize that it becomes a lot easier to resist temptation.

    Great post!

  2. I had to laugh at: “No amount of fries or men will ever make you feel whole,” It is so true! πŸ™‚
    The Buddhists say that life is suffering, and the emptiness you are talking about is a huge part of that I think.
    It’s always there; the one stable thing that we can trust. Every single thing is impermanent- so even when we are happy, it is sad because it will end. When we are sad, it is sad just cuz it’s sad. Might as well find the joy in the moment, since that’s the only place it ever is, instead of lurking in the future in a big bucket of fries or a relationship. That is my personal happiness- touching in with that emptiness and sort of befriending it, accepting it, and finding the joy and love that comes from such a tender and vulnerable place. Thank you for helping me to remember that!

    • Thanks for commenting and sharing your words of wisdom πŸ™‚ you’re right… Emptiness will always be part of life…. And I guess we all find our ways to temporarily find happiness or completion… Thanks again for dropping by and taking the time to leave a comment πŸ™‚

  3. ha ha interesting take! it is true try and find things that make yourself happy but you just hope that the man you meet at the end of the journey is happy in himself too..that would be perfection!

  4. Great post. It definitely complements one that I recently posted about people who repeatedly fall in love too quickly. I agree with the point that they are unhappy and expect someone to fill that void. That is actually what makes them more empty and more desperate. If women would work on creating value and recognizing their worth, they would stop settling for men who will only give them less. Most men will only give what they can get away with giving and if a woman does not require much, then most likely he won’t go the extra mile.

  5. Queen, I love your blog! I could spend all morning reading and internalizing your words for wisdom. You are an inspiration to my move-on.
    Much thanks!
    Life is good.

  6. Pingback: The Queen’s 5 Rules of Casual Dating (4 of 5) | Of Fries And Men

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