‘Maybe I should have ordered fries instead’, I often find myself wondering after a not-so-satisfying meal.
I often find myself wondering, actually. About a lot of things, including men and relationships.
‘What if I hadn’t dated him?’
‘Maybe I should have said this instead of that’
‘Things could have been different between us, only if I did this’
‘I would have been happy, if he had just done what I asked’
And there’s also the worst kind of wondering (to me, at least). The ‘what could have been’.
It’s when you meet someone and there’s some chemistry or attraction, but nothing has come out of it. Maybe because he was seeing someone at the time. And when he broke up, you were seeing someone. And when you both were finally single, one of you moves away. Whatever it is, the timing is just never right. Sometimes that initial moment of attraction goes away and you end up as friends. But sometimes it still lingers and every now and then, you find yourself wondering ‘what could have been’ if you two had gotten together.
Well, guess what, I bumped into my ‘could have been’ guy just a few days ago and learned that he was recently single. We were both unattached – for the first and only time since we’ve known each other. It seems that timing couldn’t be more perfect, right? And do you know what happened?
NOTHING. Absolutely nothing, aside from the usual ‘hello, hi, how are you, good to see you, bye’.
I was disappointed by this little encounter, of course. But you know what, it freed me. I got my answer to ‘what could have been’ (Nothing), and I was finally able to stop wondering and let it go.
I’m also reminded of a French saying my friend C once told me. It goes something like ‘si ma tante en avait, on l’appellerait mon oncle’. Roughly translated, ‘if my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle’.
Basically, the underlying message is that it’s fruitless to wonder about things that aren’t real. And I couldn’t agree more – you can keep playing these ‘what-ifs’, ‘should-haves’, ‘could-haves’, and ‘would-haves’ scenarios in your head a thousand times, and end up with the harsh reality that “nothing” would have come out of it.
I’d like to leave you with the wise words of Tupac, as I believe he sums it up best :
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months overanalyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened…or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*** on.” – Tupac
So if you’re wondering about a certain someone right now, why not take a break from it. Just relax, take a deep breath, and trust that if it’s meant to happen, it will happen 🙂
#Fry-tip You can stop wondering how McDonalds french fries are made and find out from this lovely French Fry blog