‘McDonald’s Twister Fries Are Back!’, I saw the giant poster as I was walking back to my apartment one night. I remember Twister fries, I remember I really enjoyed them. But I also remember they were available for a limited time only. And now McDonalds have decided to bring them back – again for a limited time.
The thing with ‘limited time’ is it makes you excited to get as much of them as you can – while it lasts. Each time you buy twister fries, you savor them and appreciate them because you know they’re only here for a short time. But it can also be nerve-wrecking. You might get paranoid each time you walk pass McDonalds, trying not to get your hopes up, wondering if the twister fries are still there.
And the day will come when you no longer see twister fries on the menu, and of course you knew this day would come. You even prepped yourself for it. But it still takes you by surprise, and you can’t help but feel a sense of loss. A twinge of sadness.
Did I want to get back to enjoying Twister fries, despite knowing they won’t be around very long, and that I will probably miss them when they’re taken off the menu again?
Did I want to still spend time with him, despite knowing he’ll be gone soon? Was I okay with the fact that even if he does come around again, it will always be just for a limited time?
In a way, it’s quite liberating. We always knew we would have to part ways, again. So there was no discussion needed. We don’t need to talk about feelings. We don’t even acknowledge them. We live in our own bubble world where there’s no need for questions or answers. No plans, no promises, no expectations. No rules, no ifs, no buts. We just are. We exist only in this moment, and we don’t go anywhere near the ‘next’ moment. The future doesn’t exist as far as we’re concerned. We enjoy the mere pleasure of each other’s company, without giving a thought as to where it will lead to.
Before saying our goodbyes, something builds up inside me and I am forced to blurt it out. ‘Will you miss me?, I ask. I know I shouldn’t ask, but sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me. ‘Of course’, he says. I don’t know if it’s true, and it doesn’t matter. It’s what I want to hear, and I’m happy to hear it.
That’s how it is. He says things I want to hear, and I do the same. Sometimes I see loneliness in his eyes, and I’m sure he sees sadness in mine. But we never talk about it. I cannot make him less lonely, and he cannot make me less sad. I never aspire to be what he wants, and he can never be what I need. So we just be. Without thinking. Without trying. Without discussion. Tomorrow the sun will come up and we both will go our separate ways.
I am reminded of something I heard a while ago: ‘Some people are like the wind – you can’t hold on to them. All you can do is embrace them whenever they come around.’