Some of you read my last post and thought that I was in love. First of all, let me assure you that I’m not in love, nor am I at the start of a lifelong relationship 🙂 It’s not like that at all, and you’ll see why as you read on.
Secondly, since I promised I would try to write about the man that I can’t write about, so here goes.
I’ve thought about it and rather than attempting to describe the experience, I’d actually like to share some lessons I got from it.
LESSON #1 FORGET THE AGE THING
I say this because this boy was much younger than me, and I’ve never dated younger men before. In fact, up until now I always preferred older men and never thought I would ever consider someone younger. Not even if he was just two minutes younger.
But this experience has been truly eye-opening. He turned out to be a much-needed shot of energy boost for me. His youthfulness was refreshingly infectious. He made me feel young and alive – like I was a school girl again 🙂
We had a lot of fun and he made me laugh. What did it matter that he was a few years younger? If you were eating some delicious fries, would you stop to ask ‘How old were these potatoes?’ Of course not.
So my challenge to you is, the next time you come across a sweet & nice man, don’t worry about how old he is. Just go with the flow and forget the age thing 😉
LESSON #2 TAKE A CHANCE
When I first met this boy, we hit it off straight away. We talked nonstop for over two hours, as if we’d known each other forever. At the end of the night, I excused myself to the bathroom, and as I came out, the whole gang was ready to leave. Someone had gotten the bill, and someone had taken the liberty of calling me a cab. It was all a blur and the next thing I know, I was standing at the taxi stand. The boy was also there to see me off.
I was hoping he would ask for my number, but he didn’t say anything up until this point. I was sure there was chemistry between us – it made no sense that he didn’t try to get my number.
Anyway, a cab finally pulled up, and as I opened the door, one foot stepping in, I suddenly realized I might not get to see him again. I had to do something. It was now or never. So I paused, turned back to him and mustered the courage to deliver this line “Are we never gonna see each other again?”, and with that, he smiled and proceeded to ask for my number. And in the middle of a busy street – while cars honked and the taxi driver yelled at me to get in – I gave him my number. The best chance I’ve ever taken, which he later thanked me for and admitted that he was shy and unsure whether the guy I came with was more than a friend (another complicated story that I won’t get into right now).
So ladies, I urge you to step out of your comfort zone and take a chance! Of course it will take some guts and there’s always a possibility of getting turned down, but it’s okay. Something great could come out of it, and even if it turns out to be nothing, at least you know you’ve tried.
LESSON #3 LEARN TO LET GO
From the first time we met, I knew whatever we might have would be short-lived. And no, for once it’s not because I was skeptical (even though I am). But it’s because he was leaving the country in two weeks.
It didn’t bother me at the time – he was just some cute boy I wanted to hang out with. I wasn’t going to dwell over the fact that he was leaving soon. But as we spent more and more time together, a part of me kept wishing he didn’t have to go away.
Of course he would have to leave – there was no changing that.
He asked me if I would come visit, and I responded with the most honest answer I could give. Je sais pas. I don’t know. I’m sure my response disappointed him, but it was more dignified than empty promises. Because even though our connection is undeniable, there was also no denying the fact that it wasn’t going to work out. We weren’t going to Skype each other everyday or plan to visit each other every few months. We both knew that.
And so I realized that sometimes life gives you the most delicious fries, without any guarantee that you’ll ever have them again. And you just have to be okay with it. I’ve learned that it takes strength to fight the urge to hold on longer.
He gave me a comforting smile, as if to say he understood. I was sad to say goodbye to my le mignon, but also proud of myself for knowing how to let go.
And there you have it, I have written two blog posts about the man I can’t write about – gotta love the irony 🙂
Aww thank you :):)
“If you were eating some delicious fries, would you stop to ask ‘How old were these potatoes?’ Of course not.” – that gave me a cackle. But that was also very well worded. I’m going to keep that in mind myself next time.
This was one of those deliriously liberating relationships I think that could serve at least the purpose of entertainment if not a bit of, or 3 lessons. I’m glad you came out of this with such a level head. But fries and men are there to try out all the flavors on the menu, it’s not a loss, just an experience I always say. (:
hahaha i really struggled to talk about the age thing in comparison to fries.. i’m glad you found it amusing 🙂 ” fries and men are there to try out all the flavors on the menu, it’s not a loss, just an experience” — So true, love your positive outlook.. and of course definitely more fries & men coming our way! thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts – always makes me smile to read the comments 🙂
Haha, I’m glad that gave you a smile, or some weird twitch to the cheek. That works too.
I’ll be looking forward to it !
Thanks for sharing, all the best (:
Lesson #2 (Take a chance) is a good one. When a girl is a little bit aggressive, I have a really hard time saying no, especially if that is something that seems outside her comfort zone. I’m really sorry things didn’t work out this time though. I think the good that came out of this was the fact you had the opportunity to see the connection you are capable of having with someone that is really great. That can be helpful in sorting out the rift-raft in the future. Hope the next time you make that connection it is with someone that will be around for a very long time. Thanks for sharing!
I’m thrilled to hear a man’s perspective on this, so thanks so much for sharing 🙂 And you’re right, I was able to see that I could still form a connection with someone (as I didn’t think I could after what I’ve been through), so it was eye-opening and of course fun.. which also makes for a good story I think 🙂 Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!
I am about to go on a second date with a boy younger than me. It’s only two years and at first I didn’t know if I should see him again, but, I thought what the hell and am now really looking forward to it!
I know what you mean!! I am glad you’re deciding to take a chance though 🙂 p.s. aren’t they the sweetest, these young men? 🙂
They are. Certainly puts a spring back in my step! I’m feeling all school girl-ish about my date tomorrow. It’s a nice feeling 🙂
All the best for your date 🙂
This is so endearing ❤ Sometimes we meet people who help us figure out what we want and deserve in life. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your lessons. 🙂
I Love how you phrase it 🙂 thank you for dropping by 🙂
Lovely post. Speaking of age difference, my boyfriend is older to me and we get along so well. It feels like we’re the same age, and that age is not a number, but a feeling. A feeling that only we both can share. I find boys my age too immature for me and he finds girls his age too orthodox for him. I’ve never been attracted to any guy older to me. This is the first time and it feels so right.
I nominated you for the versatile blogger award follow the link to get the details.
Thank you so much!! I am so honored :):)
Loved parts 1 and 2. Lesson #3 hit home for me. Everything I’ve had to let go of has ended up with claw marks on it from holding on too long. Your brave solution embraced the initial pain, and probably kept the beauty of the ‘dream’ intact. 🙂
I guess I did keep the ‘dream’ intact, but I can’t say if it’s really bravery or just fear of rejection. I definitely think that there are times when you just really need to give it your all – this just wasn’t one of those times. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts 🙂
Lesson number 3 is so relatable. Sometimes people come into our lives to make us happy for a short time then go again and thats ok!
So true – I guess the struggle is knowing when to hold on and when to let go 🙂
Is it weird that reading this brought tears to my eyes? I think it might be the bittersweetness. Any advice on “fighting the urge to hold on longer”?
Not weird at all – I can’t count how many times I tear up from reading something 🙂 Hmm.. I think when I prepare myself mentally from the beginning, then I can manage to fight that urge. But of course sometimes you just can’t help falling in too deep