Of Pretentious Fries and Men

I was at Carl’s Jr the other day and I noticed they serve Zucchini fries.

I’m not a fan of zucchini, so for me, it was a bit annoying to see a zucchini being called ‘fries’. But I figure all the health-conscious people must be thrilled to have a healthier alternative to French Fries.

So if you like Zucchini Fries then you won’t like what I’m about to say, and I hate to burst your bubble (No, actually I’m loving it!), but Zucchini Fries are NOT healthier than French Fries. Zucchini Fries contain more calories, more saturated fat, and more sodium – compared to French Fries (you can see the nutrition facts right here).

Doesn’t it piss you off? All this time you thought Zucchini Fries were good, but in reality they were even worse – those pretentious Zucchini Fries!

I know exactly how it feels – even though I had never eaten Zucchini Fries, I did date one. My most recent ex, to be precise.

Mr. Z led me to believe that, unlike all those other fries, he was actually ‘good’ for me.

He claimed to be better than everyone else. In fact, he went as far as saying he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

And after all the troubles I’ve had, I honestly thought I should take a break from French Fries and switch to Zucchini Fries.

The end result? It was the most horrible experience of my life, and Mr. Z turned out to be worse than anyone I’ve ever dated or encountered. I won’t go into the dramatic details, but you can read about the valuable lesson I learned.

I have to admit that my encounter with the pretentious Zucchini Fries made me appreciate French Fries more. Sure, French Fries weren’t good for me, but hey, they never claimed they were.

While zucchini friesΒ  blatantly lied and said “I’m good for you”, French fries would say “I know I’m not good for you – but I promise to make you feel good” (Which they do, of course). And to me, that honesty is refreshing.

So here I am, back to eating non-pretentious, sinful French Fries πŸ˜‰

How about you? Did you ever date Zucchini Fries?


22 thoughts on “Of Pretentious Fries and Men

  1. So sinful is a good thing? I haven’t tried zucchini fries, so I can’t judge. But, I am sure your zucchini would:P

    I suddenly have a craving for salty fries.

    Nice sense of humor overall.

    I see you DO NOT trust your instincts. You keep falling right into the mess with the wrong guys. Your little voice gets stepped on by some dark angel every time. Why? Why don’t you listen to your gut instinct?

    • That’s a really good question… Why don’t I listen to my gut? I don’t know, maybe because i drown it out so I don’t hear it? Maybe because I want to spend a little time just enjoying the moment without worrying?

      • You wouldn’t have worry or regret to worry about if you took the first hint from your little voice which has been right every time in the end. Unless you self-consciously sabotage yourself by having negative expectations, your gut could have spared you regret or foul experience time and time again…time which could have been spent with someone who didn’t set off the alarm. The moments you enjoy are spoiled when you realize they’re lousy zucchini fries.

      • You are absolutely right… And my gut has always told me exactly what I needed to know from the very start. With mr. Z I honestly believed him – as u read from the dialogue with my instinct πŸ™‚ but with the rest, I know what I’m getting into… But it’s just so tempting and I just say to myself okay I’m gonna enjoy this for a bit and then move on.. But of course that doesn’t happen either… Maybe it’s like u say, I’m sabotaging myself … Am I a masochist? P.s. You should run an advice column πŸ™‚

      • I used to peddle Mr Z pizzas for school many years ago:P Mr Z:P hehe

        From what I read,..and maybe I was/am up too late…it sounded like your instinct was compromised by another voice.

        And, if I may ask, how do you enjoy it/yourself in these not-so-great situations?

        I should? Maybe I WILL!:P Dear Writingbolt…

        Yes, and I will surely get my share of hate mail from those who take my advice with acid in the throat because they question my expertise and think I am judging them unfairly. No thanks:) I see lots of people doling out advice columns. Mostly women who can’t zip their lips and who can’t talk to their husbands/boyfriends. They like to advise so much because their mothers advised them. And, when they ask their partners if they should start a blog or column, the partner says SURE just to get the woman off their back:P

        Maybe I will advertise myself as some kind of tasty fries:P Come and get some. πŸ˜€

      • Hahaha a tad dramatic, are we? πŸ™‚ well… U know when u are eating delicious fries even though you know they’re bad for you? They’re still super delicious right? And you know they’re not gonna suddenly become good for you, but you tell yourself a little bit won’t hurt. That’s how I feel in these situations!

      • Dramatic, cynical, comical…and drunken-ly honest. Just the way you like ’em. Hot out of the fryer. Boom. Zing. zzzzz….

        This is what happens when I don’t take my own keys away and go to bed:P

        Well, after the last big C scare with french fry oils, I stopped eating them as much. I also thought about the carbs and fried food factors. I usually just get the burger and drink now.

        I suppose I could compare Cheezits to your lust for hot, salty fries.

        Okay, that’s how you feel…which is basically getting your truck stuck in the mud because you have a sick obsession with mud wrestling instead of getting unstuck and hitting the road to recovery/better things…chronic behavior. But, how do you “enjoy” these situations? How deep/invested are you getting? Is this…dare I say…an FWB situation? A scandalous affair with someone otherwise involved? Make-out-palooza under the bleachers? What?

        You sound like the drug addict who goes “sober” only to get either a temptation or withdrawal that brings them back for one more “hit” which ends up killing them.

      • Seriously consider that advice column… πŸ™‚ okay so it started as FWB but me being me, I got emotionally invested.. And yes now I’m stuck in the mud, and yes i do enjoy eating fries while wrestling in the mud (I sound like a pig!)… And on top of that, he’s become emotionally invested too… So now we’re both like hey why don’t we just stay here for a while and play in the mud… Who cares about that thing called life or reality or hygiene? And that’s the story πŸ™‚

      • Wanna be co-writer?:D We could make a fine duo of Burger and Fries:P Hold the “may-I”.

        Aha. ‘Knew it. UGH! Forget the co-writer:P

        I can’t scream enough about this choice of yours. I cannot advise people like you:P Nor can I sit still. You’re one step from gigolo or you-know-what:P

        Guys get a bad rap for doing what you’re doing.

        Hey, I like mud wrestling:) I like women who mud wrestle:P Or, better yet, pudding wrestle.

        Welcome to why (replaced with mud wrestling) is a huge hazard. I place it right up there with drinking. Forbidden fruit. Oh, but the snake made it sound so tantalizing. Whipped!

        Well, if it works for you, maybe that’s life. Maybe everyone else has it wrong. I still think this whole modern world could fall in the crapper if more people “lived in the wild” like you seem to be. If we all stopped chasing these old dreams of past generations, slept with whoever entered our patch of the jungle and died of some STD at 35. We stop growing to be 6 ft tall and living to 100 and get eaten by lions and tigers and bears. Oh yes. And, that’s the truth. [Raspberry sound from Lily Tomlin]

      • Who does fine in the 60’s? You’re adding LSD to your picture? I think I can feel my face peeling. I’d best put the fries to bed and hit the oven–er, hay.

  2. I always referred to them as Strange. And every time I’d date Strange, I’d regret it. I actually married Strange the first time around because I was entirely too young to know better.

    Now I opt for Weird. I know Weird, I kind of enjoy Weird, and I’ve married Weird. It’s a comfortable place to be for me.

    writingbolt is right – trust the fry eating gut. You know the worthwhile ones when you come across them. Just give them a chance and see what happens.

    • I guess after my Strange I just kind of gave up on the idea of finding Weird and decided I’m going to have some fun – except there are times when it’s not fun because I’m too emotionally invested.

      • Oh yeah, been there, done that, have the battle scars to prove it. You think they’re as in to you as you are in to them and when you find out they aren’t the bottom drops out of your world.

        I wish I had some tried and true advice to offer, but I’m on husband #3 and I’ve done some truly stupid things to get guys to give me their attention. All I can offer is that there’s a good out there waiting for you somewhere.

  3. Yes I have to say I have dated a Mr. Z. It wasn’t as bad as your experience because generally speaking, my mr Z really wasn’t all that bad BUT he did claim to not be like the rest and he was. Like you, or at least like what’s being described by commenters here, I didn’t trust my gut like I needed to. Doh! It happens. We want to believe the best in people and that’s admirable but unfortunately it puts us last and lets them get the best of us. So away with zucchini fries and all their misleading ways! πŸ™‚

    • Wanting to believe the best in people – now that really struck a chord. After it was over I tried to turn myself into a cynic but I just couldn’t. I like being optimistic, I like to believe in the innate goodness in people, even though it hasn’t gotten me the best results. Thank you for sharing your story and for dropping by πŸ™‚

      • I’ve tired to be a cynic too… part of me is just a bit with trust issues (oddly enough now the trust issue is really with myself lol can’t trust me to make the wise decision – go figure, so i stay single) but ultimately, i can’t change my stripes and you know.. that’s okay. I hear it’s about learning how to not necessarily change but to cope better – maybe not be a cynic but just be skeptical enough to protect yourself – that’s what I hear I have yet to do it. πŸ™‚ I love dropping by – I like the comparison of men to fries lol. It probably explains a lot. J/K.

  4. Journey of Experiential Learning and Growth; I know what it meant but at least, at least it’s not dead end journey! Stay lovingly strong.

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