I’ve tried several times to write the long version of the story, but I just couldn’t. There were so many details, and once I started to think back, well I just didn’t want to go back there.
You’ll understand why as you read on.
About a year ago I met the man I thought I was going to marry.
He was the first man I ever brought home to meet my family.
I loved him, my family loved him, hell, even my dogs loved him.
He was perfect in every way.
Then he told me he had cancer and my world turned upside down.
I put my life on hold. Turned down a job offer in Europe. Fought with family. Alienated myself from friends.
I cried myself to sleep every night for two months, praying and asking why.
Wait. Before you jump to conclusions, let me stop you right here.
This is not a tragic story where my lover dies and I’m left with a huge hole in my heart and vow to be single for eternity.
This is also not an inspirational story where a man fights for his life, with his girlfriend by his side.
And this is definitely not a story about miracles.
This is a story about deception.
It turned out he lied about the cancer. It also turned out he lied about everything else, including what he did for a living. In fact I don’t think I ever knew him at all.
What hurt the most wasn’t that he lied to me or that he took my money.
It was that he took away the last glimpse of hope I had.
I had already been through bad relationships prior to him, and I was skeptical even before getting into this relationship. It also didn’t help to have divorced parents.
But meeting him had given me hope. For the first time in my life, I took a leap of faith and allowed myself to believe in happy endings.
It’s been over a year now, and while the pain has subsided, the wounds have not completely healed.
I’ll admit that a part of me is still angry. But there’s also another part which believes it happened for the best.
As for the hope part, well, I’m not exactly putting myself out there or jumping into another relationship. In fact, I might have been hiding out on my couch & eating fries.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have a tiny speck of hope left. Cause even though I’m a skeptical bitch, I’d like to believe that I’m a ‘hopeful’ skeptical bitch 🙂
And when I’m ready, I’ll get my ass off the couch and open up again.
Until then, here’s to #couchingandhoping
P.S. Thanks to sites like DatingASociopath which made me realize I’m not alone and got me through that horrible time. Also thanks to my instincts for waking me up.
I dated a pathological liar. He didn’t lie to me about something as severe about cancer but he lied about everything else. I was also heartbroken. Those liars are a truly deceptive bunch. It took me awhile to get over that situation. I held onto the anger for a long time as well. It sucks
I’m sorry to hear you went through that, and I hope you’ve been able to rise above it and let go of the anger.. thank you for sharing your own experience
i am so sorry this happened to you, i’ve had some bad experiences in the dating arena myself, though nothing on this level. i continue to be hopeful as well ) beth
Thanks for the kind words 🙂 Yes – let’s hang on to that hope 🙂
I hope every day in every way u r getting stronger. No doubt it was a nasty deception but dont ever lose hope in the goodness of humans. X
Thank you, I am getting stronger each day, and holding on to my faith in humanity? thank you so much for dropping by xx
At least you found out BEFORE you married him. Mine is still bringing me “gifts” from his past that he expects me to deal with.
I realized I’m lucky that I found out early. I hope you are going strong and able to cope with your situation. I’m sure you realize you’re definitely not in this alone!
Thanks. 🙂 I just keep doing what needs to be done to take care of me. Sad to say, but he’ll likely not figure out how good he had it with me until he’s been escorted out.
Pathological love is so hard!! Thankfully there are sites/books/people out there who understand exactly what we are talking about! Best to you Queen. x Lola
Thank you so much for the kind words.. hopefully no more pathological love !!
Sorry this happened to you and sorry that you didn’t find out until now. Just know that the chances of something like this happening is about the same as being struck by lighting. It is unlikely anything close to this will ever happen to you again. Good luck with the next step!
Really appreciate your encouraging words and yes hoping I don’t get struck by lightning again 🙂
This is just awful, unfortunately, I have heard similar stories. It seems that there are people out there who think this sort of behaviour is ok. Don’t let the actions of another shit-head ever reflect your own self-worth. I hope that the right man comes along soon and shows you why all the others never worked out :).
I’m so sorry. That’s wretched! 😦 I’m glad there remains a glimmer of hope though – life would be so horrid without it. I do want you to know that I’m giving you the Blog of the Year 2013 Award. I hope you don’t mind. I love your writing and the comparisons are well done. 🙂 Read more about the award here: http://stormy1218.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/merry-december-blog-of-the-year-2013-award/
Thank you so much, I am so so honored for your award, I literally have no words. thank you!!
You’re very welcome! You’ve earned it. 🙂