Of Fries and Why Hasn’t He Texted Part II

After two days of waiting and wondering why he hasn’t texted (and stuffing my face with fries in the process), I decided to consult J, one of my best guy friends who’s also the sexiest man on earth (J, I’m sure you loved that).

And I’m glad I did that, because it gave me some really useful insights on what goes on in a man’s mind when he doesn’t text right away. I’m summarizing my conversation with J into a list of Frequently Asked Questions as to why he hasn’t texted:

We had a good time, and he did seem interested, but why hasn’t he texted me?

Well, it depends on the guy. Every guy has different rules. Some might text the next day. Some might choose to wait a few days. 

But if he likes me, shouldn’t he text me everyday?

Do you expect him to do that? Because not every guy will. Some guys prefer to do as little messaging as possible, so that the conversation doesn’t become boring. If you’re texting all day, you can run out of things to say.

Could it be that I did or said something to turn him off?  

Usually it’s not about you. It’s more about them. Since you don’t know what they have going on in their lives.

So it’s possible that he wants to see me again, even if he hasn’t texted?

Sure. Just give it a few days.

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My conversation with J was really eye-opening and made me realize that I was obsessing for no good reason.

First of all, why did I expect a guy I had just met to suddenly start texting me everyday?

Secondly, even if he did do that, wouldn’t the fact that he was ‘too keen’ turn me off anyway?

And finally, what possessed me to tie my self esteem to a text message from a guy?

Having realized all of that, I decided to get a grip and remove this obsession from my mind space. And well, it was at that point where I stopped waiting & checking my phone, that I finally got that text from him 😉

I hope this post is useful for all of you who’s been wondering why he hasn’t texted. I think the most important thing to remember is not to doubt yourself, ever!

P.S. If you have any messages or questions for J, feel free to leave them here and I’ll make sure he gets them 🙂

Of Fries and Why Hasn’t He Texted?!

Ladies, I’m sure a lot of you know this feeling too well.

It’s that feeling you get the day after you’ve given a guy your number, and he still hasn’t texted!

A million questions are running through my mind right now. Questions like..

We did have a connection there… didn’t we? Did I imagine it?

He did say ‘I will message you’. Maybe he just hasn’t gotten around to it?

Did I appear too desperate and turned him off?

And finally.. the most important question of all: Is he dead?

Ok but seriously, the last time I waited around for a guy to text me, I was probably in high school. I honestly thought I had evolved pass all of that. That throughout the years, I had built up enough confidence and self worth not to let myself dwell over a guy I’d only met once!

Apparently not.

It bothered me so much that I brought it up during lunch with my gal pals – who (bless their hearts) demanded and dissected every detail of how the night went and who said what to whom. This involved a lot of  ‘Oh! He said that?’ and ‘Ow! You responded with that?’.

And of course, conflicting advice from each one:

Me: So, should I text him first?

Gal pal #1: Well, it beats sitting on your ass and checking your phone every two minutes right?

Gal pal #2: Oh-my-gawd you should NEVER text a guy first.

Gal pal #3: Yeah don’t text him first. Get your mutual friend to drop him a hint!

Gal pal #1: Ok just do the 3-day-rule thing and casually drop him a text on Wednesday.

Me: And if he texts me before that?

Gal pal #2: Then you need to wait 4 hours before you can respond to him. I swear, that’s what the rule book says. And trust me, you don’t wanna go against the rules! I’ll bring you the rule book!

After some fries and girl-talk, I was still left with questions. Do I text him, do I not text him? What is this rule book and do I really need to follow it?

But the question that bothered me most was: ‘Am I just not interesting enough?’

It bothered me because it brought me back to that insecure & shy girl I used to be.

The girl who obsessed over every detail of what was said and done, trying to figure out how it could have been different.

The girl who doubted herself and didn’t think any guy would be interested.

But I’m not that girl anymore, and I should know better by now, right?

Yes.

The answer is yes! (Forced enthusiasm)

So what am I going to do differently?

Well, for starters, I need to stop obsessing *checks phone for the 1000th time*

And, I need to take back control.

But how?

Any thoughts?

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Of Fries That Don’t Taste Good

A friend was curious to know why I stopped seeing a guy after such a short time. Here’s how our conversation went:

‘So you stopped seeing him after just two dates’

‘Yup’

‘Because you just weren’t ‘feeling it’?’

‘Yup’

‘But you must have felt something right? Otherwise why did you agree to go on a second date?’

‘That second date was just to make sure I really wasn’t feeling it. And well, I didn’t feel it ‘

‘So that’s it? You’re not even gonna give this guy another chance?’

‘Ermm.. Why would I do that?

‘Because… It takes time for feelings to develop. Maybe you haven’t given it enough time?’

**********

I’ve actually had a number of these conversations with different people in my life. Each of them wondering why I was so ‘quick’ to make up my mind.

So, to all my dear friends who have been asking me the same questions, let me respond by bringing you into my world of fries (and men), and ask you this: If I happen to be eating fries which don’t taste good, what would you suggest I do?

In the past, I would say to myself ‘maybe it was one bad fry. Maybe the other fries in the basket are delicious’ 

And so I would have a second, third, fourth, fifth fry, hoping that it was just a few bad fries and that the rest would taste better. But every piece of fry tasted the same – if not worse.

You think I would have given up and left the fries alone, huh?

Nope, the optimist in me tried to make it taste better by adding salt, ketchup, mayonnaise, you name it.

But nothing helped. And by the time I realized it, I had already finished the fries and was feeling fat and disgusted at myself.

Finally, there came a point where I learned to accept that some fries just don’t taste good. And the best thing you can do is save yourself the trouble of trying to make it taste better, and.. simply don’t eat it. I mean, why waste calories on fries that don’t taste good?

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