Ladies, I’m sure a lot of you know this feeling too well.
It’s that feeling you get the day after you’ve given a guy your number, and he still hasn’t texted!
A million questions are running through my mind right now. Questions like..
We did have a connection there… didn’t we? Did I imagine it?
He did say ‘I will message you’. Maybe he just hasn’t gotten around to it?
Did I appear too desperate and turned him off?
And finally.. the most important question of all: Is he dead?
Ok but seriously, the last time I waited around for a guy to text me, I was probably in high school. I honestly thought I had evolved pass all of that. That throughout the years, I had built up enough confidence and self worth not to let myself dwell over a guy I’d only met once!
Apparently not.
It bothered me so much that I brought it up during lunch with my gal pals – who (bless their hearts) demanded and dissected every detail of how the night went and who said what to whom. This involved a lot of ‘Oh! He said that?’ and ‘Ow! You responded with that?’.
And of course, conflicting advice from each one:
Me: So, should I text him first?
Gal pal #1: Well, it beats sitting on your ass and checking your phone every two minutes right?
Gal pal #2: Oh-my-gawd you should NEVER text a guy first.
Gal pal #3: Yeah don’t text him first. Get your mutual friend to drop him a hint!
Gal pal #1: Ok just do the 3-day-rule thing and casually drop him a text on Wednesday.
Me: And if he texts me before that?
Gal pal #2: Then you need to wait 4 hours before you can respond to him. I swear, that’s what the rule book says. And trust me, you don’t wanna go against the rules! I’ll bring you the rule book!
After some fries and girl-talk, I was still left with questions. Do I text him, do I not text him? What is this rule book and do I really need to follow it?
But the question that bothered me most was: ‘Am I just not interesting enough?’
It bothered me because it brought me back to that insecure & shy girl I used to be.
The girl who obsessed over every detail of what was said and done, trying to figure out how it could have been different.
The girl who doubted herself and didn’t think any guy would be interested.
But I’m not that girl anymore, and I should know better by now, right?
Yes.
The answer is yes! (Forced enthusiasm)
So what am I going to do differently?
Well, for starters, I need to stop obsessing *checks phone for the 1000th time*
And, I need to take back control.
But how?
Any thoughts?
Of Fries And Men 
Ha ha ha. You have no idea how many times I have thought, “Hmmm. Maybe he’s died.” And then ultimately, “Well I HOPE he’s died and isn’t just not interested.”
Hahaha love the second thought there.. think I may need to resort to that soon 😀
Men are mostly pigs. He probably had every intention of texting you but if he didn’t put your number in his phone immediately, it may well have gotten lost already. It’s actually kind of amazing that the human race has survived this long given how flaky most men are. (sorry, I’m pissed at my hubs, can you tell?)
But really, I doubt it has anything to do with you not being fabulous enough. 🙂
Awww thank you for the encouraging words 🙂 And I hope you’ve reconciled things with the hubby 😉
text him
It’s as simple as that huh?
This is up to you. Personally, I feel like if you text him it won’t feel as good because you were the one that prompted it. I’d wait it out for as long as possible and then when it gets to the point of not being able to stand it-shoot him a text, see how responsive/talkative he is and then go from there.
I totally get what you’re saying, but waiting around is also driving me crazy! So it will probably come to me texting him but seeing how responsive he is, like you said.
Lol, I have found the best way for me to stop obsessing is to literally put my phone face down and away from me and make the conscious choice to do something else. I make deals with myself, “Okay, you can check your phone again after you’ve done all your shopping today. It’s okay to take a phone break every once in a while.” Then I practice enjoying the bliss of the night before, releasing attachments to outcome.
It seems to me the moment that I truly release the attachment to the outcome is when I receive the text I desire. It seems like there is an energetic sensitivity that occurs between two people dancing the date dance and as you shift your frequency you shift their response. I have fun playing with it.
Hahaha.. I’ve tried that and even hidden my phone somewhere out of sight – but end up walking to check it anyway! There are people who tell me they’ve turned off their phone or even deleted whatsapp for the weekend.. hehee.. anything to stop ourselves from obsessing I guess.
But yeah you’re so right – I often find that once I stop obsessing, that message will just happen to come through!
I’m interested in hearing more about your thoughts on this energetic sensitivity 🙂
Haha! Perhaps I’ll write a blog post on it for Willows Lavender. 😉
He did text after all.. check out my new post 🙂
LOL oh that is so me…I totally understand and relate to this. I once read that book “He’s Just Not that Into You” and it was fabulous. Okay it sounds bad yes but in the end it really makes things simple for you. It’s hard to hear but in the end it does help and is actually intended to build you up, not tear you down. A guy who’s really interested, will come around to you. Men, despite what they may say, really want to be the one chasing – so don’t text him. If he really wants to talk to you, he will. If he doesn’t, then you know and you know not to waste another minute on him; chalk it up to having a nice lunch or whatever and that he clearly wasn’t the one for you. Okay so I say this as though I’ve mastered this LOL. I haven’t. It’s so hard but worth it because it means not wasting time anymore and knowing that you’re worth a guy who’s going to give you the time of day. I would say this though – some guys do play by some “rules” of making you wait a few days before texting or calling so give it some time. He may come around. I would also say – if he’s that interested – he really ought to just call you and not text – of course maybe that’s just me. I can’t help but think a guy who really wants to talk to me wants to hear my voice but I could be wrong. Hang in there lady! 🙂 Oh and Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Sigh, I get everything you’re saying about the chase – but I always feel so frustrated not being able to do anything aside from sit around and wait! So there has been times where I make the first move just to avoid waiting around. And it’s worked out well! This time I feel more paranoid about it though.. maybe because it’s such a hottie.. hehe..
And oh my.. can’t remember the last time a guy’s called instead of texted. Seems standards have dropped lately (or maybe just my standards?)
As always, thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts! 🙂
latest update in my new post 🙂
Oh, I knoooowww~ It’s annoying. But the thing is, if he does take him forever to text you, you know he’s playing a game. He’s “too busy” which is ridiculous because we all know we check our phones a million times a day. So, that’s not an excuse. He’s playing it cool. I bet you’re gonna get a, “hey, how are you doing?” tonight or the next day. He’s just playing a game, and unfortunately, if you wanna play his game, take your time too. OR talk to another guy who doesn’t play games and texts you when he says he does. Or maybe calls you. How groundbreaking!
Ughh.. I know this “game” thing and I totally hate it! The funny thing is he was meant to be a distraction from another guy.. but it turns out *now* I need to find another distraction from this so-called distraction?! hahaa
I was all set to state my opinion, but all the other comments have a good point too. How stressful, ha ha. These days I’d be more inclined to just text him myself – life’s too short to be waiting around – and hope that anyone who would be put off by that wouldn’t be worth my time anyway. But then again, other commenters had interesting things to say too, so, I don’t know 🙂
I am soooo leaning towards doing that.. at least if he’s not interested then I’ll get some closure and move on, rather than wait around, right? 🙂
Haha is he dead, that’s awesome! Take control just send that text, never know till till you try. Remind him how amazing you are 🙂
He did text afterall, check out my new post 🙂
I know that feeling. I think most girls know this feeling. The 5% percent who say they don’t are lying.
I think, personally, that you should text him. What’s the worst that can happen?Just be casual.
P.S I just read your blog summary. You’re right. Women can’t resist fries. But fries over men anytime for me 😛
You might want to read the latest update in my new post 🙂
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