We’ve known each other for a few months now, but you don’t really know me.
Today you asked if I wanted some fries from your plate, and I said no. You weren’t shocked by my response, because you don’t really know me.
I’m not blaming you; because it’s me who’s holding back.
I’m holding back.. because I don’t know if you really want to see everything there is to see.
I’m holding back.. because it’s easier to put up a wall than be exposed.
I’m holding back.. so that it won’t hurt when it ends, because at least I can tell myself that you never really knew me.
I’m holding back.. maybe to see if you’d care enough to dig deeper.
I wonder if I’ll ever let you know me well enough to ask “What’s wrong?” when I say no to fries 🙂
Of Fries And Men 
I too suffer from my heart on my sleeve. Scary…..
Hehe.. what’s the fix (if there’s one)?
I had a stumble down memory lane last night and I remember thinking – wow after such an unbelievably long time I still hurt over you; then I thought – never again. I don’t want to ever have these random nights where I just hurt because of some person who clearly doesn’t hurt the same way. As much as that hurt still exists, I usually tend to still wear my heart on my sleeve and not hold back like I want to – I do to a degree but never enough to actually protect myself. My point – I totally understand that need to hold back and yet desire to let someone in – such a crazy, mixed up place to be. If he’s worth a hoot, he’ll want to ask what’s wrong; he’ll gently pursue the matter because he wants you to say yes to fries because he’s saying yes to fries with you. Lordy I hope that makes sense lol. 🙂
Love how you put it “the need to hold back vs desire to let someone in”.. I wonder if there’s ever the right balance between the two?
From where I sit, there must be and that’s why people finally find that person because they didn’t jump too quickly but did when it was the right moment – thank Jack Sparrow and waiting for that opportune moment type of thing; yeah I haven’t figured that out yet. I made another epic mistake this past weekend too lol. I really wish I’d learn to not leave myself open to hurt lol would make life a bit easier. Oh well. 🙂 Just another thing learned right? Right. Have a great day!
It’s sad that we have to do that way, these days, but I can relate, and What IF, the other person, what if they are secretly madly in love but are afraid too show it, for fear of being hurt, , and by holding back and puttting up a wall of their own of sorts, and after a while it is Too l;ate to go with it and enjoy finding love,and sharing the beauty and exquisite joy ogf the little moments together, all the while never knowing how the other person feels, so that after a while it is too late to just go with being in love and enjoying it together and so one day it does end…
It sort o f happened to me,but I had so many bad times I quit trying. do Not date anymore. for now anyway, I may possibly try again someday If I serendipitously find the right one or we meet without me looking.
So anyway, I for sure am no expert at relationships! 🙂
You’re absolutely right.. I don’t gain anything by holding back, and yet I can’t bring myself to open up.I know what you mean about not wanting to try, and I think it’s okay – there are plenty of things to enjoy in life 🙂
Beautiful.
Thank you 🙂