I see you got married.
That’s right, I did.
You look happy.
You even wore a fucking pink dress.
What are you so angry about?
What am I so angry about? Really? You betrayed everything that we are, and you’re asking me why I’m angry?
Look, I don’t expect you to get it. And there isn’t a ‘we’ anymore. There hasn’t been for a while.
Of course, I forgot you stopped giving a shit about me.
It’s not that I don’t give a shit about you, it’s just we’re so different now.
I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.
Well, you’re probably right, you don’t know me.
I just can’t believe you would throw everything away. Everything I created.
Everything you created? What did you actually create? You are a master of destruction. I only started to create something after I walked away from you.
Hah, you’re still stubborn, at least that didn’t change. We had big plans. And you ruined it. You ruined everything.
Oh really? I ruined your big plan? What was that big plan again.. oh that’s right, you were going to hang around for someone who wasn’t yours, push everyone away, and keep looking for the next place and person. I don’t want that life.
But you did.
You sound upset. Are you angry at me?
I guess I am.
For being so stupid.
And I’m angry at you.
For forgetting me.
I didn’t forget you. I can never forget you. You were a big part of my life.
Then how come we don’t talk anymore?
Because, I don’t want your influence.
And I didn’t want your influence, but that didn’t stop you, did it?
Things are better now. I love my life. Having you around would just ruin it for me.
You don’t get it do you?
Your life is great now because of me. I dated the people that weren’t meant for you. I lived in cities that weren’t right for you. I took that shot and inhaled that smoke so that you don’t have to. Your life is a direct result of mine. And instead of thanking me for your life, all you do is ignore me and pretend I don’t exist. Guess what, I do exist. I’m there every time you look into the mirror. You can’t escape me.
I get it. You’re right, I owe you a thank you, and an apology. I’m sorry I’ve been pretending you never existed. Thank you for not loving your life, so that I could love mine.
Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. Look, I’m not here to bother you. I’m glad you’re happy, I really am. A part of me always wanted this for us.
Can I tell you something else?
I always knew we’d look good in pink.
(A conversation with my past self)