Dug out another old piece.. Sadness was such a great fuel for my writing. I’m too darn happy now – I wonder if I can ever write like this again?

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I pretend..
that I am fine..
that the knife stuck inside my heart is a mere decoration..
that I am invincible and unaffected by all things..

I ignore..
this brokenness deep inside of me..
the urge to call you and tell you how much I hurt
the ghost of you that follows me like a shadow..

I smile..
As a disguise
while fighting back the tears bottled up inside
Like a sad clown

I hide..
The wounds, the scars, the cracks
the blood stains seeping from my bleeding heart..
alone under my covers and enter into a dream..

I dream
Of a better day
Of someone who sees into dark corners of my mind
and loves what he finds

I learn
that heartbreaks do heal
That with every ending comes a new beginning
Even butterflies need to struggle before they can fly

I see
love all around me
in a smile, in a song
on a train

I know
love is out there
Under the big blue sky
waiting to find me